Thursday, May 27

In memory of Nabil

I've just learnt that an Iraqi friend, visiting his family after decades in exile, has been killed by American soldiers. I don't have any more details at the moment.

Nabil was one of the most vibrant enthusiastic people I've ever met. He lived for many years in Switzerland, and was the cornerstone of our Jubilee Iraq demonstration against the UNCC reparations in Geneva in March.

He arranged to meet us in Geneva station, with the instruction to look out for his berret. I think Fay and myself spooked a couple of berret-wearing Swiss men as we stared at them and tryed to figure out if one of them could possibly be an Iraqi. But when Nabil arrived he was very clearly different - unfortunately I don't have a photo of the trademark berret, but the grin you can see here is equally distinctive. He was the sort of guy you can't help but warm to instantly: bright and bubbly, but also passionate and dedicated in campaigning for justice. I simply cannot conceptualise how a soldier can have imagined him to have been threatening enough to kill.

I don't feel able to write more now, but may do later. For me this obviously brings home the reality of the war. Those cold bodycount statistics (now exceeding 10,000) each represent a real person just as unique and precious as Nabil. I had been wondering whether or not to arrange a another demonstration at the end of June when the UNCC next meets (incidentally on the eve of the transition) to award yet more reparations against Iraq because of Saddam's crimes, and in fact I would probably have been emailing Nabil next week to discuss it. Now I am convinced the demonstration must go ahead as he would have wanted.

I pray for Nabil's family and friends in their grief, and I pray that Iraq may soon become the free, just and peaceful country that he longed and strived for.

[update] I've just recieved more information. Nabil was killed in the controversial strike on the wedding party near the Syrian border. It has not been widely reported that the planes also bombed all of the cars along that stretch of the road to Syria. Nabil was in one of them, on his way back to Switzerland. His elderly father had to go searching and found his still unidentified body in a hospital nearby.

Nabil was a Swiss citizen, and I hope the Swiss government will take a stand on his killing.

Thursday, May 6

I, Robot and the purpose of life

There are some things buzzing in my head which I'm going to spit out and see if they make any sense. I've just got back from my first time in over a year at a home group (a few people from church who meet each week for fellowship and prayer). It reminded me that the christian life is meant to be lived as part of a community, and made me realise just how self-centred I've become

A lot of people think I'm a very decent and altruistic kind of guy. I've just got back from the Congo doing work on AIDS for a charity and I spend a lot of my free time campaigning on Iraq. Sure, there is an aspect of me that really wants to help people, but the truth is that I spend the vast majority of my time and energy thinking about ME and what I WANT. In fact I'm reasonably sure that I'm more self-focused now than at any point in my life, certainly since I was transformed by Jesus almost a decade ago.

I write a blog for goodness sake! Keeping a diary is one thing, but posting it online and assuming that it's worth YOUR time reading my ramblings is very egoistic. (who are you guys anyway? This blog gets about 50 visitors a day, so not Salam Pax or Instapundit (thankfully), but still considerably more than the number of people I talk to physically each week. And I can tell from some of the search engine terms used to get here that you're an interesting bunch.)

I'm trying to figure out why I've become so self-centred in order to decide what to do about it.

Certainly I've had a pretty rough time over the last few years (though not a touch on people I've met in Iraq, Congo and many here in Britain), with redundancy from a dream job, a long period of unemployment, a broken heart etc. etc. But I think the main thing which has contributed to my selfishness is a loss of regular christian fellowship. Although I have lots of friends scattered around London, it's hard to be part of a close-knit community here. So for almost three years I haven't had people to be accountable to and to pray with regularly; to share their concerns on my shoulders as well as receiving their support for me. As a result I have grown increasingly lonely and have retreated into my own head and even away from God. I think this drift self-centredness is what the Bible calls our "sinful nature", and we all have a tendency to do it unless we keep focused on God and have the support of a community.

The home group I've just joined is about to start studying together a book called "The Purpose Driven Life", and I read the first chapter on the tube home this evening. The opening paragraph is very relevant to the issue I'm blabbering about:

"It's not about you. The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose... You could reach all your personal goals and become a raving success by the world's standard, and still miss the purposes for which God created you. You need more than self help advice."

I'm now going to make an apparently random connection with the other book I have on the go at the moment, a collection of early science fiction stories by the late great Isaac Asimov He coined the term 'robotics' back in the early 1940s and in a series of stories laid down the classic three laws of robotics:

(1) A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
(2) A robot must obey the orders given to it be human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
(3) A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection down not conflict with the First or Second Law.

This laws are embedded deep within Asimov's robots and as a result, in the words of Asimov's robopsychologist Susan Calvin, in stark comparison to most humans, "robots are essentially decent... The three Rules of Robotics are the essential guiding principles of a good many of the world's ethical systems... you can't differentiate between [the actions of] a robot and [those of] the very best of humans."

Asimov's robots *have to* follow ethical rules and serve the interests of their human creators, in fact they will shut down before violating one of the three laws. Like the robots, God has programmed us with ethical rules - our consciences - something demonstrated by the similarity of the core values of most religions and philosophies. However, unlike the robots, we are not forced to obey. We can chose to disobey our Creator and act against his purposes, and we've been doing just that since Adam & Eve.

Instead of creating us as robots, God has given us free will and hence the opportunity to obey him out of love rather than robotic requirement. As Jesus told his disciples at the Last Supper:

"If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching... I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. My command is this: love each other as I have loved you." (John 14.23, 15.11-12)

I think I've figured out the theory, but putting it into practice is another thing. I'd really appreciate your prayers that I move away from my current self-centredness and really pour my energy into obeying God through loving my fellow humans.